


Quiet

by yukiawison



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Slight Canon Divergence, post episode 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5756143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was quiet in the Millennium Falcon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quiet

It was quiet in the Millennium Falcon. Han tried to tread lightly. Luke needed his rest and they had a long way to go, to somewhere, they hadn't decided, where he could train the next generation of Jedi. They hadn't talked about Vader, about how he was Leia and Luke's father, about how he had watched him die, about how he felt.

Granted they hadn't talked about the other thing either: Leia had broken things off with him, because they both knew which twin he was in love with, and she wanted her closest friends to be happy. It hurt, but it had to happen. And now she was bugging him to buck up and tell Luke.

There were a lot of unspoken words fogging up the Falcon, so many it seemed easier to stay silent.

"Han?" Luke called from the seat he'd been napping on. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Chewie's flying. I was just...well I don't know what I was doing. Trying not to wake you I guess."

Luke sighed. "I've slept enough for a lifetime."

Han took the seat beside him, eyes scanning him, confirming that he was alright. His blue eyes seemed deeper and more contemplative, his blond hair fell into them making him seem younger again.

"You wanna talk about it kid?"

"Talk about what Han?" He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them tightly.

"It's okay if you don't want to," he replied. Luke couldn't fool him with his soft eyes, Jedi be damned. "But if you do I'm here."

They were silent for too long. Han was about to get up, to say forget it it's okay when Luke spoke up.

"I just met him, and now he's gone," he muttered. "I know that he did terrible things, but in the end...in the end he was still my father."

"It's okay. You can miss him."

"Can I?" He asked, jaw trembling. "It doesn't feel like I should."

"You should do what you need to do," Han said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He might break if Luke cried.

He looked down at his hand, the prosthetic one that still ached when he thought too much about it.

"I missed you, you know? When you were trapped."

"I missed you too," Han replied, and suddenly he could hear his heartbeat.

Luke leaned his head on Han's shoulder. "I'm just scared. I know it's dangerous to say that but I am."

"What's there to be so scared of now?"

His voice was very quiet. "How will people look at me the same way? How can anyone love the son of a killer?"

I do. Oh lord why was it so hard to say? I love you Luke Skywalker. I thought about you all the time when I was frozen. I think about you all the time now. I think you're beautiful and brave and have more good than you give yourself credit for. I want to kiss you and hold you and smooth your dumb hair from your big dumb eyes. Oh how I do Luke. Why can't I just say it?

"Luke..."

"You don't have to make up something to make me feel better Han. It's alright."

"No, it's not. You're wrong," he said, more forcefully than he meant to.

"What?" Luke lifted his head to give him a sideways look.

"I do."

"You do what?"

"I love you. I don't care who your pop is. I love you Luke. I'm sorry but I can't just sit here and let you say such shit about yourself when it's not true. I love you and Leia loves you. I'm so fucking in love with you Skywalker."

"Whoa I heard you the first time," he replied. Then his tone changed. "But Leia...so help me Force I won't hurt her," he growled.

"Leia and I are done. She knows Luke. She knows and she's okay."

Luke looked shocked, mouth slightly agape, face flushed a vague pink. He moved forward a fraction of an inch, just slightly, expectantly, and that was all the hint Han needed.

He kissed him hungrily, like it was the last kiss they'd ever get though he sincerely hoped it wasn't. And Luke kissed him back, equally desperate, hands finding the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling him closer. There was some awkward clashing of teeth and bruising of lips and they pulled away breathless and laughing and each dying to do it again.

"I love you too Han," Luke breathed. "I've loved you every day you've been gone. I've wanted you every second."

That night they slept curled around each other, Han's breath was soft and warm on Luke's neck, arm slung protectively around his waist, pinning him close and safe against Han's chest.

Han muttered things in his sleep. "Luke, Luke no I love you. Not again. No I can't go back, I can't. Luke, Leia, no..." The pleas became increasingly desperate and he stirred spastically beside him.

"Hey, Han it's okay. Everything's okay," he shook him awake gently. Han gasped awake, desperate for air and flailing wildly.

"Luke? Luke you're here? How did I...? Oh, nightmares again," he muttered.

"Again?" Luke's voice broke. No wonder he always looked like he had the wind knocked out of him, he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm keeping you up," Han moaned. "Go back to sleep Luke I'll be fine."

"No, you don't get to tell me that. What are your nightmares about? Tell me."

Han sat up and put his head in his hands. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter you big idiot," Luke sat up too, and wrapped his arms around his chest, chest pressed to Han's back. "Tell me, please."

"Y-you were, we were...I was going back in the carbonite and you were hurt, dying, and I couldn't do anything about it."

"Han..."

"And Leia was crying and there was so much blood and there was nothing I could do about it."

"You're not back there. It isn't going to happen again. You're safe," Luke whispered into the back of his neck, kissing his skin softly.

"We're never safe though are we? We're always fighting a war or risking our lives, or confronting evil," Han's voice was broken, rough and raw and real in a way he'd never heard it before.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault you're always in danger."

"I don't regret it. I couldn't regret it for the galaxy," he said. "It's just hard to believe that we'll ever be safe."

"Even if we can't be safe we can still be happy." Luke tightened his grip around Han's chest, breathing in his sleepy scent and letting his eyes flutter closed. "Let's go to bed. And you can wake me if you have another nightmare. Hold me really close so you remember I'm right here okay?"

Han nodded. "Okay, I think I can do that."

For tonight that would have to be enough.


End file.
